Thursday 13

13 Random [Funny] Quotes on Marriage

1.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.
-- Molly McGee

2.

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
-- Richard Jeni

3.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
-- Anonymous

4.

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
-- Sam Ewing (June 1994, National Enquirer)

5.

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.
-- Shelley Winters

6.

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after. Forty is when you watch the TV during. Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.
-- Unknown

7.

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
-- Helen Rowland

8.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner

9.

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
-- Lord Byron

10.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
-- Joey Adams

11.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed.
-- Albert Einstein
 

12.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-- Socrates

13.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
-- Clint Eastwood

"The Thursday 13 is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it."