16 May, 2010

Weekend Funnies: The Funeral Procession

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.  A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind.  Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a very mean looking dog on a leash. Behind that were 200 women walking single file.

The woman couldn't stand the curiosity.

She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
 

The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."
 

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
 

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
 

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law.  She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
 

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.

"Can I borrow the dog?"
 

"Get in line." 


MOTHER IN LAW QUIPS

  • The wife phoned her husband in the office and said, "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner. "Good." replied the husband, "Make sure she's well done."
  • My mother-in-law and I were happy for 20 years, Then we met each other.
  • Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law
  •  My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday. How is she now? She's fine, but the dog died.
  • How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb? One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.
  • A pharmacist tells a customer: In order to buy arsenic you should need a legal prescription. A picture of your mother-in-law just isn't enough.
  •  Mother to daughter: Your boyfriend is such a jerk that I would be delighted to be his mother-in-law.
  • Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.
  •  The lawyer cabled his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?" Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order all three."



Welcome to the Weekend Funnies#10
May 14- 16th,2010
(Friday- Sunday)
 WHERE LAUGHTER IS FREE 
Shakira of You are Never Alone hosts Weekend Funnies.




11 comments:

Mike Golch said...

Bing,This is fantanstic.what a great way to start the day.

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

Hahahahaha....AWESOME...
where was this when I needed this too...ha ha ha...
we women are so alike in many ways, right?
I love you, Bing...
hugs
shakira

Bing (PinkLady) said...

hey mike, i missed you here!!! i'm glad i made your day a little lighter. brighter too, i hope. :)

Thom said...

ROFLMAO!! Poor Mother-in-Laws are always such the brunt of many jokes. But they make for good fodder. These are excellent :) Thanks for sharing the laugh :)

Bing (PinkLady) said...

shakira, i can't imagine myself now as a bitchy type of mother in law... i only hope i'd be able to let go of my kids when it's time for them to get married. and praying here they'd let me go too. lol. love you too, girl! {{{hugsssss}}}

Bing (PinkLady) said...

thom it gave you a big smile, didn't it? that's me making up this weekend for all the memes i missed last week. and the previous weeks. LMAO! :D

Jingle said...

full of wit and fun stuff!

Bing (PinkLady) said...

jingle i'm glad you enjoyed the post. :)

redkathy said...

Very funny and interesting jokes you have posted.

Bing (PinkLady) said...

thanks redkathy :)

Bing (PinkLady) said...

shakira, i can't imagine myself now as a bitchy type of mother in law... i only hope i'd be able to let go of my kids when it's time for them to get married. and praying here they'd let me go too. lol. love you too, girl! {{{hugsssss}}}