11 April, 2010

Weekend Funnies

Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client.

 "Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant... Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey, he would sell it???"

Bubba was acquitted.

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, "PIG!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"

They each continue on their way and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

If only men would listen!

Over drinks one evening, two gentlemen were having a discussion about the charms, or the lack thereof, of the supermodel Stephanie Seymour.

"I say she is highly over-rated," said one. "Take away her eyes, her lips, her legs, and that  figure, and what have you got?"

"My wife," said the other with a heavy sigh.

Weekend Funnies every Friday-Sunday


Sh@KiR@ CK said...

OMG!You ROCK it girl!
I really look forward to your post.
Once again, THANK YOU for making me laugh until I peed. OOps.
Men and pigs huh? LOL
have you a great Sunday, Bing!

Bing (PinkLady) said...

hi SHAKIRA! i just got back and i did this post right away. just can't miss weekend funnies again. lol. thanks for the awards you gave me. i will post them soon. :)

Anonymous said...

OMG these are all just too dang funny. I love love love that last one. LOL What's he gonna do when they hit the floor? LOL :)