Weekend Funnies

An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.

"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."

A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. "I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.

"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."

Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"

The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth."

An old woman rubs a lamp and out pops a genie. "You're a kind lady, so I'll grant you one wish," the genie tells her.

"See this cat? I'd rather have a strong, handsome, young man," she says.

The genie agrees and - poof! - the cat turns into a Brad Pitt clone. The old woman leaps into his lap.

"Do you have anything to say before we make love?" she asks.

"Yes," he says. "I bet you wish you hadn't had me neutered last week."

SHAKIRA, thanks for hosting...