10 December, 2009

Nobody Said It Was Easy...

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from your first.

Your Clothes

1st Baby : You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/Gyne confirms your pregnancy.
2nd Baby : You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd Baby : Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for Birth
1st Baby : You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd Baby : You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd Baby : You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

1st Baby : You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color coordinate them and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd Baby : You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd Baby : Boys can wear pink, can't they?


1st Baby : At the first sign of distress- a whimper, a frown- you pick up the baby.
2nd Baby : You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd Baby : You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.


1st Baby : If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd Baby : When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd Baby : You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.


1st Baby : You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd Baby : You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd Baby : You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees... eeeewwwww!


1st Baby : You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing and Baby Story Hour.
2nd Baby : You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd Baby : You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out

1st Baby : The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd Baby : Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd Baby : You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home

1st Baby : You spend a good bit of everyday just gazing at the baby.
2nd Baby : You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking or hitting the baby.
3rd Baby : You spend a lot of everyday hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins
1st Baby : When the first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand X-rays.
2nd Baby : When the 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coins to pass.
3rd Baby : When the 3rd child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance!!!



Sandee said...

Oh this is so very true. So very true. Bwahahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)

Anonymous said...

OMG...you are just too funny. These are excellent. :) By the time the third child arrives...it's a riot LOL. Call only if you see blood TOO DAMN FUNNY!!! lol. Well done my friend. :)