Sheepish Thoughts: lawyers

Showing posts with label lawyers. Show all posts

29 August, 2009

Saturday 9 : The Waiting

Welcome to Saturday: 9 .

Saturday 9: The Waiting

1. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone?

2. How do you eat oreos?

3. Are you cocky?

4. Did you have an imaginary friend as a kid?

5. What t.v. station do you watch the most?

6. Have you ever seen the ocean?

we live in the ocean...

7. Have you ever been hospitalized?

8. What's your favorite brand of rootbeer?

fries, rape and rootbeer, anyone? get it here...

9. Could you live without a computer?

Thanks so much for joining us again at Saturday: 9. As always, feel free to come back, see who has participated and comment on their posts. In fact sometimes, if you want to read & comment on everyone's responses, you might want to check back again tomorrow. But it is not a rule. We haven’t any rules here. Join us on next Saturday for another version of Saturday: 9, "Just A Silly Meme on a Saturday!" Enjoy your weekend!

Notice to the Public:

28 June, 2009

Not His Fault

"How is it that you can't get a lawyer to defend you?" the judge asked the prisoner.

"Well, yer honor, it's like this. As soon as those lawyers found out I didn't steal the money, they wouldn't have anything to do with me."

23 June, 2009

Son of a... Lawyer

Having just moved to a new home, a young boy meets the boy next door.

"Hi, my name is Billy," he says, "what's yours?"

"Tommy," replied the other.

"My daddy's an accountant," says Billy. "What does your daddy do?"

"He's a lawyer," Tommy answers.

"Honest?" says Billy.

"No, just the regular kind."

Source: SwapMeetDave.com

09 April, 2009

The Epitome of a Lady Lawyer

The lady lawyer approached the jury box and began an eloquent plea for her client: 'Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I want to tell you about this man. There's so much to say that is good: he never beat his mother; he was always kind to little children; he never did a dishonest thing in his life; he has always lived by the golden rule; he is a model of everything decent, forthright, and honest. Everyone loves him and. . . '

Her client leaned over to a friend and said, 'How do you like that lawyer? I pay her good dough to defend me, and she's telling the jury about some other guy.'

08 April, 2009

A Legal Evolution

You know there are more people in law school right now than there are lawyers on the entire planet? Think about that. [St. Elmo's Fire (1985)]

He fareth best who loveth best
All fees both great and small
For the Bench declare that etiquette
Of the Bar is "pocket All".
[Punch, 1847]

There is a general prejudice to the effect that lawyers are more honourable then politicians but less honourable than prostitutes. That is an exaggeration. [King, Alexander, Rich Man, Poor Man, Freud and Fruit: Advice to Amorous Ladies, (1965)]

25 February, 2009

The Deaf Bookkeeper

I got this as a forwarded email from one of the law partners. Trust me, if it's from a lawyer, it must be good. :D

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks.**

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks he
embezzled from me is.

"The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about.

"The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens !"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger"

Don't you just love lawyers?*

08 February, 2009

What Is The Difference Between A Shark And A Lawyer (If There Is Any)?

So I'm not done with lawyers yet... Believe me, I will never be.

Undeniably, lawyers have been called nasty names behind their back. But nothing beats being game about it and embracing the title.