21 January, 2010

Dis-enchanted Couple-dom

The following are testimonies of married people:

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The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust!"

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In the beginning, God created earth and rested. The God created man and rested. Then God created woman.

Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

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My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four policemen and a dog.

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Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

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A man inserted an ad in the classified: "Wife wanted." Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son. I'm still paying."


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Secret To Old Age

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now. "

The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness program.

"Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk."






2 comments:

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahaha. Some of these are so very true.

Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)

Thom said...

OMG...these are just too funny. I love them all LOL. Have a great Thursday :)