To Have and To Hold... Not

Counsel:
"You are presented here as witness about the quarrel between your neighbor and his wife. Were you present at the start of the trouble?"

Witness:
"Yes Sir, I was a witness at their wedding."

Client:
"I want to find out if I have grounds for annulment of marriage."

Lawyer:
"You mean you are married?"

Client:
"Of course, Sir."

Lawyer:
"Then you have grounds."

There are three stages of a modern family life, namely:

Matrimony
Acrimony
Alimony

It must be wonderful to be a lawyer. In what job can you find one working for a woman's legal support and legal separation and then sending a bill to her husband?

Prosecutor:
"I guess you had the experience of having been cross-examined before?"

Witness:
"Yes, by my wife and my mother-in-law."

Defense counsel:
"Tell the court exactly what passed between you and your wife during the quarrel?"

Accused:
"Ten plates, six glasses, two can openers, five spoons and seven cups."

BIGAMIST: A bigamist is a man who makes the same mistake twice.

MUSIC MONDAY

You Don't Own Me
from the box-office hit "The First Wives Club" [1996]

(originally popularized by Lesley Gore in 1964)

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.