Together Forever

It's Complicated... Not

Look Who's Talking...

These twin babies hit the news with their funny antics and engaging conversation. They are sooooo cute that it doesn't matter if we don't understand a word...

A Funny Wedding Photoshoot

Have A Funny Weekend

Welcome to the Weekend Funnies which is jointly hosted by 

Shakira @ You are never alone! and Gattina @ Writer's Cramps.

Happy Weekend to Everyone!!!

Around The World (Weekend Funnies)

Here's something to perk up your lazy Sunday... have a fun ride !!!
(to the tune of the Black Eyed Peas' Pump It)

With Gattina & Shakira

Funny Friday and What's Your Dance Style

Sometimes you shouldn't believe everything that you see....

You Are Salsa Dancing

You are expressive, dramatic, and passionate. When you dance, you dance your heart out. You are outgoing and willing really put it all out there. You don't have a shy bone in your body. In fact, it's probably hard to hold yourself back from dancing. When you hear good music, you want to move. You think people need to get out of their heads more and hit the dance floor. Dancing is one of life's pure joys.

What's Your Dance Style?

Who Is The Father

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?"

The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for moment and then confessed. "Yes. Yes he did."

The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks, "Who? Who was he? Who was the father?"

Again, the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she says: "You."

With Gattina & Shakira

Hangover Confusion

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

 

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"

 

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. 

 

His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
 

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". 

 

Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
 

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes and shoes off, you said, "LADY, LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED . . . !"

 

Moral of the story:

Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "

Weekend Funnies

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing of having committed adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said: "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they have "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well... until the priest died at a ripe, old age.

About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed concerned.

The priest said: "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said: "I don't know what you're laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week."

With Gattina & Shakira.

A Senior Moment

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"

The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

Moral of the story? If you're going to have a senior moment...make it memorable.

Attitude

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband -- who was a big burly man -- tossed his trousers to his bride and said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I cant wear your trousers," she said.

"That's right," said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. "Hell," he said, "I cant get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right, and that's the way its going to stay until your attitude changes."

 Source: Jokes Gallery

Till death do you part...

A newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’

‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’

Girl to her boyfriend: 'One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.'
 
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

Wife: ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?’

Hubby: ‘When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.’
 
Wife: ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!’
 
Hubby: ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?’

It Is What It Probably Is

This Is What Lousy Film Editing 

Looks Like...

Aren't you supposed to hold the trigger to shoot someone???

Hmmm... an airplane in the Trojan War???

Bows, arrows... and cellphones in the olden days???

Wow! Adidas???

Hmmmm... branded pirate!!!

This Is What Sad Looks Like...

This Is What Sorry Looks Like...

This Is What What Bad Spelling Looks Like...

This Is What Intimacy Looks Like...

This Is What Deaf Looks Like...

This Is What Stupid Looks Like...

This Is What "oh @#@##" Looks Like...

This Is What Your Tax Dollars Look Like...

This Is What McBurnt Looks Like...

This Is What A Nightmare Looks Like...

This Is What A Blonde's Car Looks Like...

This Is What "I Thought Your Husband Was Out of Town" 

 Looks Like...

Source: Sunshine's email

Shakira of You Are Never Alone! hosts

Weekend Funnies#12

May 28st- 30th,2010

(Friday- Sunday)

Kat of Me & My Memes hosts

Hooray for Saturday

All About Love...

All About Love...

1. All the good ones are taken. If the person isn't taken, there is a good reason.

2. Money can't buy love but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

3.If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

 
4. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

5. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

6. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

7. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

8. Love your neighbor but don't get caught.

9. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

10. Never argue with a woman when she is tired... or rested.

11. It's always easier to get a partner if you already have one.

12.Sex appeal is 50% of what you've got and 50% of what people think you've got.

13. Love makes believers of us all. Translation: Love obscures common sense.

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